Barcelona & History

with Ellen on The Ramblas (Boulevard)

It's been a wonderful two days - not quite over yet - getting to know new friends in David & Ellen, whom I met through Athletes in Action. They are church planters who do a lot of ministry through sports. Ellen's background in synchronized swimming connected us in the aquatics world. The primary purpose for coming here was to talk about aquatics ministry around the world and what we (along with our friend, Jacqueline in Switzerland, and others) can do to encourage Christian athletes and coaches as well as be open to conversations with others.

Jacqueline is a former world class diver, Ellen a former world class synchro swimmer and me - definitely not a former world class pool swimmer! I just tag along and open doors for these amazing ladies!

We've had some great conversations about next steps. Now to put them into action.

Last night I was up until 12:30 a.m. with these crazy people! WAY past my normal bedtime, but we saw some wonderful things after enjoying a great home-cooked meal.

The day began being reminded that love is something we all have in common around the world. We are far more alike than we are different. I discreetly captured this picture which quickly took my mind to my love at home, to our need for love in our lives and thankfulness for God's love that surrounds us.

That was Friday.

This morning, David was off to a prison to do some ministry through basketball, and I slept in! Later Ellen showed me the Medieval part of the city. Everything is decorated for Christmas and in one square we came upon row after row of booths selling Nativity scenes, complete with buildings for the whole countryside. There was a large Nativity in the government square with a wonderful interpretation for a seaside city. I was told that Barcelona is known for its Nativity's and if you're going to put up one thing for Christmas, that's what it should be.

From Roman columns unearthed within the past few decades to stunning cathedrals, it's a beautiful city. Tonight we are headed to the Olympic ('92) village and park areas and then I insisted on taking them out to eat. As young married missionaries, that's a luxury they don't often get.

The Cathedral of Barcelona

The Cathedral of Barcelona

Courtyard of The Cathedral of Barcelona

The Cathedral of Barcelona

Roman columns from 1st Century

In the government square

In the government square

The "Sailor's" Church

Adventure into the Unknown

Never travel the day before Thanksgiving! I'm not sure what I was thinking! The snowstorm up the East Coast didn't help, but thanks to a wonderful United ticket agent at the Dayton Airport who engineered a new route, I was able to get moving in the right direction.

I'm presently in Barcelona on my way to Doha, Qatar as an official for the Short Course (25m) Swimming World Championships.

My hosts here at David & Ellen, church planters with a special interest in sports ministry. Ellen and I connected because of her passion for aquatics. We've Skyped a couple of times over the past year, praying for open doors around the aquatics world.

Being that it was Thanksgiving Day - and Ellen is from the States - she prepared a traditional meal for some friends and I brough the pumpkin pie filling, which she couldn't find here. It was a great introduction to some of their circle of friends, a wonderful meal and yes, the pumpkin pie turned out great!

The sun has appeared this morning, which was not in the forecast. Looking forward to a day of conversations about ministry and walking some streets of Barcelona.

Don't Discount a Double Check

I learned many years ago to never presume that I know everything that went into a decision of which I was not a part. I know far less than I think about my own decisions, much less someone else's! I tend to lean toward trust while finding some way to learn and grow as I observe the results of a decision. So when Mars Hill Church announced today that they would cease to exist, either merging with other churches or closing all 15 campuses, I'm not about to presume I know everything that's gone into that decision.

I began this post with some "fear and trembling," feeling like I'm treading on thin ice (as it begins to snow for the first time this Winter). I write so that I can learn - journaling is a great discipline for anyone. I write now so that I can look back and see how accurately I'm perceiving and where I need to grow.

I did this same exercise almost 2 years ago when I learned I would be leaving a church I'd served for a decade. I sat down that afternoon and wrote 2 pages, or more. How was I feeling? What was I thinking? Where did I agree? Disagree?

I re-read it just before my last weekend there and was pleased with the accuracy. It served as a check on my personal perceptions and self-awareness. So here goes, into a potential abyss that has the power to expose new blindspots.

Mars Hill's founding Pastor went through some trouble and difficulty, some might call it persecution, over the past year. Regardless of what you name it, he accepted some shortcomings, acknowledged his imperfection and decided to step back from leading the Church. Within weeks the leadership made this stunning announcement.

My mind went through a double check of questions and foundational beliefs. I do not for one moment suggest that any of these are or were the pitfalls of Mars Hill or Mark Driscoll. Here are the rest areas I pull into as I journey through my own soul. They are questions I've asked again this day.

I asked myself: "What's best for the Kingdom?"

I know that no church should stand or fall on their Pastor, no matter how charismatic the person is. So I ask the question: "What can I learn about leadership from this situation?" When I departed the church mentioned above, I was offered the financial and people support to start a new church. It was never a thought. It wasn't best for His Kingdom.

It's not about me. The people who make up the Church are not "mine." While it's painful to move from a place you and your family have settled into and called home - and hoped to call home for a longer time to come - I have no right to think that what's been built has been due to me. Sure, God uses leaders, but as His instrument I work only with His hand on the bow. Only as He strikes the keys or strums the strings does music flow.

A favorite seminary professor at Asbury once said: "We are temporary assistants to the Holy Spirit." Later I read Henri Nouwen's book "Making All Things New," in which he wrote about a "ministry of absence" and the professor's phrase birthed new life in me.

Jesus told the disciples: "...it is best for you that I go away, because if I don't the Advocate (Holy Spirit) won't come. If I do go away, then I will send Him to you."  (John 16:7) Pastors and church leaders who worry about what might happen when they're gone (for a Sunday or a vacation or a Sabbatical) would do well to mediate on these words. My task as a parent is not to make my children dependent on me, but rather to unplug them from me and plug them into Jesus. As a Pastor, I'm called to do the same.

As church leaders, we would do well to consider the signposts that line the road of personal charisma & giftedness, leading away from dependence on God's Spirit. I know I don't know them all but I do know a few:

"I'll never invite a guest speaker who is better than me."

"I don't take all of my vacation. I can't be away from the church that long or often."

"I have to be at every meeting."

The attitude that if you disagree with me, I'll sideline you.

In other words, I'm not open to feedback or criticism.

Who doesn't thrive a bit on the positive response to a sermon or teaching? But if my goal is great sermons and Bible Studies rather than measuring how many people are reading their Bibles at home, I'm probably in danger of drawing people to me instead of Jesus.

A question I ask: Are my hands open or closed?

How tightly am I holding onto the ministry God has led me to? This Mars Hill announcement has been an opportunity to double check why I do what I do. Is it mine or is it God's? If it's mine and it's taken away - whether by personal decision, moral mistake, denominational move or leadership ouster - closed hands will tear it apart, holding on to that which I believe is mine.

EGOnomics is one of my life-changing books. It can be a painful read if approached with open hands. Ego can be my greatest asset or most expensive liability. Closed hands serve my ego. Open hands serve God's Kingdom. It comes down to taking things personally. How I take feedback and criticism is an arrow pointing inward to my kingdom or outward to His.

I ask myself: To whom am I accountable?

I am grateful to a group of guys who walked with me through one of my deepest valleys and have become consistent companions on my journey. This announcement has made me double check my accountability patterns.

When I have tough decisions I ask others for their thoughts and insights, starting with my wife. The older I get the more carefully I walk, not away from risk but away from personal preference in favor of the insight of community.

These are just some of the questions I'm reviewing in my own life. I'm not immune to temptation. I definitely have imperfections. A trending news story like this causes me to pause, to double check my heart and life. What can I learn? What should I do differently moving head? How can I pray for those involved? We're on the same journey, on the same team. I won't criticize because I don't know everything. How will you double check your life?

He Died Too Young

The recent death of a Little Miami High School student has the community emotionally fragile, most especially Brayden's fellow students along with their parents who wonder what to say. A tragic death usually brings out both the best and the worst in us as human beings. It brings out the best because we tend to care, hug and talk a little more than normal. When faced with our own mortality, especially as a teenager, causes questions and confusion.

Often the worst things we can do is actually say something. When we don't know what to say it's best to not say anything. More often than not the best thing to say is to ask a question, if you must say something. "How can I help?" or make this offer: "I'm here any time you want to talk."

There's something disturbing to us humans when we don't have answers to questions. We like to know. We like to be in control. But when a tragedy like this breaks open our neat little world, we're reminded of how fragile and unpredictable life can be.

For people of faith we like to remember the promise of Romans 8:28 "God works in all things for the good of those who love Him…" We quote it, and sometimes misquote it (it doesn't say "all things work together for good" - it does say that "God works in all things") and then tragedy strikes and we can easily forget it.

The blame most often goes to God. "Why didn't God save or heal the person?" It's not a terrible question. I've asked it many times before. The more dastardly statement often heard is: "It was all part of God's plan." I usually duck for cover from the potential fallout! That's not the God I know. God doesn't cause wrecks, murders, rapes, bombings or abuse. He is good and can't be evil.

"Why did God take him so young?" When we don't know the answers our human tendency is to blame God. Eventually some people will land on: "I wonder how God is going to use this for good?" That's Romans 8:28.

There are a lot of things I don't know about in this world of ours. There are a lot of things I don't understand about the way God works or at times seems to not be at work. Two things I know about God that help me when life doesn't make sense:

1 - God is good

2 - God is for me

My confusion comes from forgetting that God has a goal for my life, for our lives, that goes far beyond the temporary things upon which I tend to focus. I forget the bigger picture, that I am not the center of the universe or of God's plan.

Why did Brayden die too young? I don't know. It is a horrible tragedy. I do look forward to the good things God will bring out of it, though. In the meantime I pray for his family and friends who must figure out what tomorrow looks like without him.

17 Weeks to Christmas - A 1st World Problem

I've seen some recent posts about so many Fridays until Christmas. Some big box stores have a few Christmas things peering out of the shadows. I heard a business news report last week that people are using layaway more frequently than in recent years, preparing for Christmas.

Now is the time to decide what Christmas will be for you this year. For the past 12 years, Christmas has taken on a new focus for me. Live more simply so that others might simply live. Christmas consumerism is a 1st world problem. Christmas Day for most, while perhaps a day of celebration and some special times, is another day to live even while celebrating God's gift of life. It's not full of presents. It's not an overabundance of food.

House renovations versus living in a house

Car repairs versus owning a car

Having "nothing to wear" versus having 2 sets of clothes - 

one for church & one for the other days

Honestly, most of what we plan for, what we fret over, what we rejoice in are 1st world problems. We overindulge in an overabundance of things we don't need. It becomes clear when we move - and purge - and find things we no longer use, had forgotten about and didn't need in the first place. Our overindulgence leads to debt, obesity, lethargy and loneliness. What we hoped would fill our lives ends up taking life from us.

How will Christmas be different for you this year? With 17 weeks to go, here are some thoughts:

1 Decide to stay out of debt. Giving gifts you can't afford, and some of those to people you don't even like, isn't what makes Christmas. If your love language is receiving gifts, this could be difficult for you. Decide how you'll give gifts while avoiding debt. Start by decreasing the number of gifts.

2 Plan family time. The focus on presents and the spending of dollars to get them has the tendency to push family aside instead of bring them together. Instead of a wrapped present, do something together: go to an IMAX movie; see a Christmas season play like A Christmas Carol. Spend your dollars on something that creates a memory rather than ripped wrapping paper and trash.

3 Sponsor a needy child or family. We started this tradition over a decade ago, where some of our Christmas savings goes to support a child in Haiti through Starfish Kids. It doesn't matter which Operation Christmas Child (better hurry on this one for this year). Find a local family to sponsor with a meal and some gifts. You might plan on serving a Christmas Day meal at a homeless shelter instead of overindulging at home.

organization you choose, just choose one. Fill some shoe boxes for

4 Give away 1/2 of your normal spending. This is the method I've used in The Live Simply Project over the past decade. We have the privilege and responsibility to use our overabundance of resources to serve those around us, and across the world. Here are some ways to do that: sponsor a child, simply give the dollars to a worthy organization, save the dollars for a mission trip next summer. 

Some people need to simply cut back on what they spend. Some would benefit more from re-purposing their normal spending to focus on family and others. Do something different this year. Make a difference. If filling our lives up with stuff - through gifts - made us happy and filled our lives, we'd be the happiest and most fulfilled people ever. A fulfilled life doesn't come from what we get or possess but from what we give and the people with whom we do life.

Christmas in the U.S. is a 1st world problem. How will you solve it this year?

Things that Wipe Out Our Relationships - Sex

Boundaries. Fences. Limitations. Out of bounds. Fouls. Disqualifications. These are good things in our lives.

Our dog, Scamp (a Border Collie-Besenji mix), recently escaped our fenced yard. After paying $170 to get him back from the Dog Warden, we fixed the fence and the following week he found a new way out - thankfully caught by a neighbor.

For Scamp, the fence or boundary is a good thing. It's a positive thing. It keeps him safe. He doesn't know any better than to perhaps walk across a busy road. He doesn't know all the pitfalls and potential hazards that exist in the world. So we have fences and leashes for his safety. We put limitations on his existence so that he is safe.

I can tell you for sure that Scamp doesn't enjoy his fence. He wants to get beyond it. His other limitations are frequently violated when no one else is around – like staying out of my room. But we know he goes in there when nobody is home.

We have boundaries for Scamp for the same reason we lock windows and doors in our houses. For the same reason we leave lights on so we come home to a well lit environment after being out at night.

God has some boundaries and I can tell you for sure that we don't always enjoy them – we sometimes don't understand them – we often seek to see how close we can come to the edge without an explicit violation. But God has boundaries for us for one reason – perhaps two – to keep us safe. And because he loves us. We don't see all the pitfalls and hazards that exist in our world. But God does. So He provides boundaries, limitations, fences for us so we know where the out of bounds is.

Sex is something that has boundaries in God's economy. Violating those boundaries is costly. We may not understand all of God's boundaries - we may not like all of them - we may not agree with all of them. We are free to choose. I choose to start with God's character and heart and then look at his boundaries.

Two things I know to be true: God is good and God is for me. If I believe that, then when I don't understand, like or agree with His boundaries, I go back to what I know about God.

When we push God's boundaries aside or step over them in disregard, when we make unhealthy choices, sex can wipe out our relationships. Here are some ways that might happen:

When sex in marriage becomes a reward or punishment instead of an expression of passion. When secrets are kept.

When avoidance strategies are employed so that a difficult but necessary conversation can't occur. Or simply not being honest with one another.

A husband confesses the difficulties of his marriage to a female co-worker; or a wife to a male co-worker.


Dating relationships wipe out when we settle for emotions and disregard character and the heart.

Let me suggest three ways to stay within the boundaries God has set: 

1. Make Relationship with God a Priority

Here's the thing I know - intimacy with God will protect you from illegitimate intimacies in your life. Jesus IN you makes the difference not more muscles, not different clothes, not the color of your hair.

Make Jesus the priority in your life and you are less likely to experience a wipe out in your relationships.

2. Establish Boundaries
I know that money, sex and power will destroy a ministry and/or person faster than anything else. So I have boundaries for those. I don't touch money. I never meet with a female by myself in private. I invite guests to speak and invite people smarter than me onto leadership teams to keep power at bay.

We slip when we compromise our boundaries. The girl who decides that she'll ignore the fact that a boy doesn't share her faith values and instead focuses on his looks. Watch out! The husband who shares the struggles in his marriage with a female colleague crosses a dangerous boundary.

3. Evaluate your inner life

Use God's Word to evaluate your life. Use Galatians 5:22-23. Do these Fruit of the Spirit display themselves in your life?

Evaluate your inner life first before you evaluate the outer life of the other. If your relationships are what you want them to be, look inside first, asking God to grow these fruit in your life. And make a choice to stay away from the other list.

What I Do Understand

There's much I don't understand about our world, my world, and around my life. I don't understand the reactions of mobs and those that travel to #Ferguson, Illinois to be part of the looting and destruction. I don't understand the destruction of a shop, owned by a law-abiding citizen, because you're pissed off at something he had nothing to do with. I don't get it.

I don't understand global politics.
I don't understand accounting.
I don't understand anything about child abuse.
I don't understand #ISIS.
I don't understand global warming or cooling or climate change.
I don't understand how engines work.
I don't understand people who can come to conclusions on half information, partial stories and not for one moment think there is more to it than they know.
I don't understand women - that's a whole series of blogs in itself!

There's a lot that I don't understand but that doesn't mean I'm helpless or paralyzed. The world may very well be going to hell in a hand basket - last time I checked, that's is the ultimate end. What I don't want to be is a part of helping make it happen. While there is way more I don't understand than I do understand, I do understand that I can be a positive influence in my world. I don't have to succumb to whatever emotion, anger, and negativity drives people to be destructive.

There are some things that I know and that's what can drive my actions. When I was a child I wasn't responsible for all of my choices. Now I am. When I was a child, I didn't have the experience or wisdom to make the best choices, but I knew right from wrong - I still know it today. There are far more things I don't know, but in light of recent events I know a few things.

1. I know that I deserve what I tolerate. This is a painful lesson to learn, and re-learn and learn again! When I didn't hold new leaders to high leadership standards, I get what I deserve. When I refuse to be part of the process of electing new political leaders, and I'm convinced that the problem in Washington rests with everyone else's leaders, but not mine....I get what I deserve.

I deserve what I choose to tolerate. Therefore, I have to choose ahead of time the things for which I'll go to the mat, the mountains upon which I'll die. As a parent, if I allow belligerence and disobedience to go unpunished, then I'll get what I've chosen to tolerate (or avoid). 

2. I have to own my choices, choices that I'm free to make. No one makes me mad - I choose to be mad at others. No one causes me to leave an organization or stop supporting a cause, I am free to choose that option. It's my choice.

I don't get to throw off ownership of my actions, blaming what someone else did. Certainly, I need to protect my family and I choose to protect my property, but I don't get to harm others because someone else did something to someone else with which I didn't agree. My actions are my own and owning them is something I must do.

3. Disagreements are inevitable - destruction is optional. I captured this quote recently but not the author:" Disagree without making the other person bad and you will transport the connection to a higher level." Relationships surround us, they make life worth living. Relationships also come with conflict but I don't have to destroy the relationship because of it.

4. God should not be blamed for as much as He is. One of my pet peeves is the stupid things people say at tragedies and funerals. Usually it happens when human beings open their mouths! God gets blamed for untimely death with words like: "He had another plan." God gets blamed for watching over some but not others with words like: "He was watching over them" when speaking of those who survived a horrific accident while others died.

A wise friend said to me recently: "Do the things that are possible and don't worry about the rest right now."

These are some of the things I know and in a world that seems consumed in chaos, I can follow and do these things. It may not seem like much on the surface but these things build a strong foundation for living well. One of my mottos is: "Do the next right thing." That's what I know and understand.