If you don't pay attention to something, weeds will grow, deterioration will gain the upper hand. Every body needs a check up, every car needs a tune-up, every house needs maintenance. As important as those things are, the closest of relationships - marriage - deserves our utmost attention. Without the closeness of a loved one, our health, a car or a house mean so much less.
The New Year gives the perfect opportunity (or excuse) to ask some questions to tune-up your marriage and take it to a new level.
Ask a question about your hopes and dreams:
- Is there a dream you have that you're not pursuing? How can I help you pursue it?
- Name 5 words/phrases you want to describe our marriage 5 years from now?
- What is something we could do together in this new year, some activity that doesn't take a ton of time but puts us spending time together, unplugged from "screens?"
Ask a question about your physical health:
- What is one thing you would like to change about how you take care of your physical body? How can I help you in that?
- What is a way we could eat differently, healthier? (It's impossible for one spouse to do this in the same house - two are needed)
- Would you be willing to try a plank challenge together? (Decide on how many days - and how many minutes each day - grow the number - and what time each day)
Ask a question about your spiritual lives:
- How can I pray for you?
- Is there a way we could serve our community, together, that we're not presently doing?
- What do you think about participating on a mission trip this year?
Ask a question about your physical relationship:
- What do you like about our sex life?
- Is there anything you would change?
- Where would you like to go for a weekend, just the two of us? (Make plans with a calendar in hand. Invest in your marriage - the time and money required will come back to you 100 fold)
Ask a question about your financial world:
- What do you think about the level of our generosity?
- Are we saving enough for what we want life to be like in the future?
- What would it take for us to get out of debt?
- How should we participate in the Live Simply Project: to live more simply so that others might simply live?
- How can we help our children develop good financial stewardship habits?
A key habit of great leaders is planning the next day's priorities the night before; a key trait of leaders is taking time away to plan and think (1 hour per day - 1 day per month - 1 week per year is a good pattern). So it is with great marriages, taking the time to talk and think will reap great rewards.
What question(s) would you add?
Everyone should be
quick to listen,
slow to speak &
slow to become angry.
James 1:19
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