Feedback is essential to our growth - as leaders, Christ-followers, marriage partners, and human beings in general. We are much too myopic to be able to traverse life by ourselves, without the input of others, unless we want to settle for mediocrity, never achieving our potential. But nobody likes to be told they're not good at something. We have a natural tendency to fight feedback.
Even if the feedback is delivered in a poor, irrational and unfocused manner there are things to hear. I've learned a few things about receiving feedback as I've looked back at the poor ways I've handled it in the past.
1. Have no ego. This is tough in a man-eating world where climbing to the top permeates the atmosphere of a company. It's our ego that gets bruised when we react negatively to feedback. The person who can remove their own protective filters in order to listen to others perceptions or factual data will grow personally as well as in the eyes of his or her superiors. People who know they don't know it all are people who will know more in the long run.
I wrote a blog about this a couple of years ago that goes into some more detail - "Ego: Friend of Foe"
In fact, a great response to feedback is a simple, "Thank you."
2. Write to keep quiet. One of my mistaking in missing the truth of feedback is talking too much, becoming defensive. I have found if I'll type out some notes about what I'm hearing, it not only helps me focus but keeps my mouth shut! I'm also able to learn more both during a feedback session and afterwards.
3. Ask questions. Avoid "why" questions, which will simply put everyone on the defensive. I've learned that "what" and "how" questions work well. "What do I do that comes across that way?" or "How would you suggest I change that."
Good feedback will involve specific examples. Questions can help bring them out if they're missing. Questions can also help clarify cloudiness and define uncertainties. I also think asking for time is helpful, time to respond. A period of introspection will reveal truth where the emotion of the moment may obscure it.
4. Ask for feedback consistently. In my hobby of swim officiating, I am evaluated every year or two officially. But I ask for feedback at most meets during the year. I want to stay on top of my game. In business it's appropriate for regular feedback to be shared, not dumped once a year in a performance review.
What have you learned about receiving feedback? What about giving feedback.
3. Ask questions. Avoid "why" questions, which will simply put everyone on the defensive. I've learned that "what" and "how" questions work well. "What do I do that comes across that way?" or "How would you suggest I change that."
Good feedback will involve specific examples. Questions can help bring them out if they're missing. Questions can also help clarify cloudiness and define uncertainties. I also think asking for time is helpful, time to respond. A period of introspection will reveal truth where the emotion of the moment may obscure it.
4. Ask for feedback consistently. In my hobby of swim officiating, I am evaluated every year or two officially. But I ask for feedback at most meets during the year. I want to stay on top of my game. In business it's appropriate for regular feedback to be shared, not dumped once a year in a performance review.
What have you learned about receiving feedback? What about giving feedback.
No comments:
Post a Comment