#1 - Memories (The Year of 52)

My earliest childhood memory goes back to age 5. That's a long way back from where I am today. As is often the case, one's earliest memory can help solve the riddle of "What am I all about?" For me this is the case.

If you know me well, you won't be surprised to find my mind going back to a swimming pool. My first competition was at age 5, even though it was unplanned and unanticipated. With a borrowed suit (that was too big) and no goggles (yes, it is possible to compete without goggles), the pool has been calling my name ever since.

My mother fills in some of the gaps before this vivid memory of mine. We arrived at the iconic now and at that time new Keating Natatorium in Cincinnati, Ohio to watch my sister compete in the summer Junior Olympics. Walking through the doors into the Natatorium which took you into the middle of the wooden, pull-out stands, Coach Tim Blood asked my mom: "Did he bring a suit?"

I wasn't really on the team. Apparently I got in the water to "practice" because I was there with my mom for my sister's swim practice. The answer was, "No. He's not even on the team."

Coach Tim said they needed a fourth for a relay. All I had to do was make it down one lap of the pool. With the too big suit tightly tied on my 5-year old body, I arrived at the scoreboard end of the pool to be the 4th.

I'm not sure when I realized it, but the pool was long course, 50 meters, a length I'd never seen or swum before. My outdoor "practices" were in a 25-meter facility. I don't remember diving in but then up pops my memory. At about 25 meters, when my mind and body felt like I should be finished, I lifted my head to see I was halfway. Only halfway. Twice as far to go. I remember those thoughts and then the determination to finish, which I did.

This earliest of memories is a microcosm of what drives me in life. I love to win. More than that, I hate to lose. I'm competitive. Give me a challenge and I'll find a way to make it work. Tell me I can't do something or that something won't work, it only spurs me on forward. These are good attributes, springing from the competitive character that makes the impossible possible.

I'll make a competition out of how many strokes it takes for one lap in the pool to how long it takes me to cut the grass at home.

This determination to win can also be a "not so good thing", when it becomes the only thing. I can get so focused on reaching the goal that I will forget about the people who surround my life. If I'm not careful, others can become a means to an end rather than part of the journey and accomplishment. The intense focus is an asset and a deficit. This is a thread that can be found in every story of my life.

So I'm learning to enjoy the journey and to remain competitive but being more careful of people. Everyone has strengths that can become weaknesses all too easily.

What is your earliest childhood memory? Does it serve as a micro-story for your life? Do you have a strength that is also a weakness when it becomes the only thing?