Talk Too Much?

When words are many, sin is not absent,

but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 10:19

My forte is speaking. I'm a teacher at heart. Even with my hobby of officiating with USA Swimming as a starter, it's my words that are central. One piece of training to be a national starter with swimming is learning less is more. The more a starter says when swimmers are on the block the more confusion it can cause, leading to a greater chance for a poor start.

In his book,  What Got You Here Won't Get You There, Marshall Goldsmith shares 20 habits we need to leave behind if we're to continue to be successful at the next levels of leadership.  There are similar ideas in The Next Level and 9 Things You Must Do to Succeed in Life. Each book talks about those things that must be left behind in order to succeed at a new level of leadership/business/life/love. But this particular phrase really caught my attention. Goldsmith talks of those who "add too much value."  I want to add value to people and organizations. I want others on the team who add value. How can you add too much value? It's very simple - by talking too much!

Ouch! That's something I do. I hope I do it less today than yesterday but I've definitely got a long way to go. It's the person who...

• always has something to say (of course the person who says nothing is on the opposite end and needs to learn to speak up). 
• is motivated to make other think you know something about the subject at hand.
• just wants to be heard.

The more words we speak the more chance of sin. It's that simple. That's good advice. Here's how I'm trying to live it out:

1 - Listen without having the need to respond. The desire might be there so sometimes I write down what is being said. It keeps my mouth shut because I don't multi-task very well. At its core this is about humility. The humble person doesn't need to be seen or heard and so uses less words.

2 - Asking "what" questions rather than "why." This keeps me focused on the topic and the other person. I've found when I ask "why" it takes me to a place where I'm questioning the other person and that's the place I'm tempted to add too much value.



3 - Simply taking a deep breath when I feel like saying something. Often that keeps me from saying more than I need to.

Saying less really is saying more. Jesus cautioned us about our prayers and words:

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling

like pagans, for they think they will be heard

because of their many words.

Matthew 6:7

God cares about what is in the heart more than the words that stumble out of our mouths. Sometimes it's better to keep what is in our hearts, in our hearts instead of letting it out.