50 Shades of Black & White

50 is a moving target in life. In my teens it was really old. It was still old in my 20's. Getting into my late 30's and it seemed like I switched which end of the binoculars I was using. 50 was half-way. In my 40's, 50 was young. It's even younger today!  I don't feel 50.

After a half-century of walking (for the most time) upon this earth, I've taken some time to reflect. What are the lessons learned? Have I lived, so far, the way I wanted to? When things didn't go the way I planned, what happened? Can I spot the hand of God at work, in my past, in places I didn't see at the time and what does that mean moving forward? Turning 50 is a great time to reflect. My list has recent lessons and life-long ones alongside each other. I hope that is always the way it is.

Life has become more black and white for me. Wrong is wrong. Right is right. Truth is always best. There are standards and morals woven into the fabric of our universe. The common thread through it all is grace. The grace I've experienced from God is what He expects me to pass on to others, including myself.

I’ve made plenty of mistakes, from which I’ve learned some of my greatest lessons. I’ve had plenty of success, from which I’ve learned almost as much. As far as leadership, the greatest lesson is to not take things personally. When I make a mistake it doesn’t mean I am a mistake. When I fail, it doesn’t mean I am a failure. Quit Taking It Personally (Q-TIP) is a transformative lesson to relationships in every area of life – home, business and with myself. It’s a key component of self-leadership.

My life lessons are full of the things people have said to me from their observations of my life. I've been encouraged and challenged and honored to receive some enormous compliments, the greatest of which is "Thank you."

This list contains only a few of my lessons. I know there is much more to learn but for the moment here is what I would consider 50 important lessons and learnings, without commentary.

They are not in any particular order, except the first two. They're really important. I would not be who I am nor have accomplished what I have without  Jesus' work in my heart the love and support of my wife.

It's been a good ride so far. I wonder what the next years will hold?

1. Following Jesus is completely worthwhile.
2. The love & commitment of a good woman is worth more than anything I could ever possess.
3. Pray constantly.
4. I deserve what I tolerate.
5. The truth will always win in the end so I might as well start with it.
6. Give the benefit of the doubt
7. Forgive quickly.
8. Be careful with whom I spend time. I will tend to become like them. 
9. Learn from the past, look forward to the future but live in the here and now.
10. Some of the greatest lessons in life are learned in the most difficult and painful of times. How I wish it wasn't so.
11. Figure out when I am at my best – when my life is full. Fill up with those things regularly.
12. People are valuable and worth my time.
13. Relationships are the stuff of life. Pursue them relentlessly. We were not created to go through life by ourselves.
14. Take time for myself. Refresh. Renew. Recharge. Refocus. Regularly.
15. Give trust up front. Take it away when it is betrayed.
16. Read.
    
17. Unplug.
18. My greatest life regrets will be from what I didn’t do more than what I did do in life.
19. The unexamined life is not worth living. Be accountable to some others for the way I live.
20. Learn to listen. The people in my life are worth my time and attention.
21. Take time to find out. Don't guess and therefore gossip.
22. Learn to ask great questions.
23. Don't try to fill every silent space.
24. Exercise.
25. Live more simply so others might simply live.
26. Be willing to say yes and just as willing to say no.
27. Take vacations.
28. Schedule important things or life will help me avoid them. 
29. Purge. Downsize.
30. Establish and keep good boundaries. Don't own what is not mine to own. 
31. I don’t have to change everything to change everything.
32. Do what I know how to do. Don’t worry about what I don’t know how to do.
33. Beware of first impressions. They're not always right.
34. Don’t be defensive. Defensiveness will only serve to prevent growth.
35. Find a hobby and pursue it with passion.
36. Love is spelled T-I-M-E.
37. Learn to say “Thank you."
    
38. Get a coach. I can’t discover all my blind spots on my own.
39. I'm not supposed to be able to figure it all out on my own.
40. Bigger is not always better.
41. Some people really are out to get me.
42. Learn whom I am accountable to and what I am accountable for in life and work.
43. Communicate clear expectations for those I lead.
44. Learn to end things….and end them well.
45. Q-TIP…..quit taking things personally.
46. Use failure as a stepping-stone for moving forward.
47. Live humbly.
48. Don’t compare myself with others.
49. Smile
50. Every start has a lesson. Learn the lesson - Forget the start. (from swim officiating)

Thanks to the many of you who have traveled with me on portions of my life. You have made my life richer. I pray I have made yours richer as well.

I don't know if it's down hill from here, or it's just a chance to gain momentum for the next stage of this great journey called life. I'm ready for the thrill, the ups and downs, the stomach-churning drops and loops. It's the second half. Time to get living.