Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Things that Wipe Out our Relationships - Money

Continuing some thoughts on the things that wipe out our relationships. Money is the number one issue of conflict in a marriage and probably in most relationships. When Walmart marries Saks Fifth Avenue, you know there is going to be conflict around money. For me, staying out of debt is the number one way to calm this ugly destroyer of relationships.

Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is always slave to the lender.”

Debt is slavery. It’s that simple. Debt is the most immediate pressure that most marriages and individuals feel in their lives. The average college graduate has over $20,000 in debt, starting life in slavery to money. And that doesn’t include credit card debt. The average credit card debt in America is over $7000! You know what we do when we go into debt – we have faith that we will keep getting paid, keep making money, in order to pay that debt. We have faith in a company or in ourselves. That’s not the place we want to grow our faith. We change. Companies change. Life happens. God never changes.

The greatest thing that leads us into debt: Immediate gratification. One of the ways we have tackled this problem is with cars. First of all, owning a car - just one car - is a first world problem. Most of the world knows nothing about owning a car.

Cars are a depreciating asset. In order to reduce that impact on our bank account we always buy used cars instead of new. Then we drive them until they are nearing unsafe or just plain stop working. The added bonus is that this became an embarrassment to our children!

Some ways out of debt:
1. Giving
It seems foolish on the surface, but giving does something to our hearts. Learning to give and trust God changes the focus of our hearts. That’s where the debt problem comes from – our hearts. It’s not a cash flow problem. Debt is a spiritual issue. Giving is a spiritual issue. That’s why Jesus talked about it so much.

It may mean some lifestyle adjustments but learning to give, beginning to give even in the midst of repaying debt is vital to getting out of debt. If you say to yourself that you’ll wait until the debt is gone to start giving you’ll never start giving because you’ll just accumulate more debt. Giving is a heart change that is necessary to staying out of debt.

Proverbs 11:25 “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

2. Change of heart not change of cash flow. Materialism is a heart issue not a cash flow issue. We want what Hollywood and Madison Avenue says we should have.

Luke 12:34 (New Living) “Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be.”

Jesus knew that the heart follows the cash and the cash follows the heart. If we are in debt guess where our hearts are going to be? At the very least we’re going to be distracted TOWARD the debt and AWAY FROM Jesus. At worst we’ll be totally drawn away working and worrying to pay off the debts we’ve accumulated.

This is one of the main reasons I talk about money in church. Money – giving and staying out of debt – are spiritual issues. What we do with our money actually says more about our spiritual heart than about our bank accounts. It’s an essential mindset shift to stay out of debt – how we use our money is a spiritual or heart issue.

3. Learn contentment
2 Kings 4:2 “Elisha replied to her, "How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?" "Your servant has nothing there at all," she said, "except a little oil."

I love the question Elisha asked the widow in verse two. She was saying, "I can't believe I'm in this situation. My husband died, and my husband was a godly man; he was from the house of prophets." Yes, bad things happen to good people. "Now we have mortgaged my children's future. They’re coming to take my children into slavery." Elisha asked her, "What do you have in your house?" "Well, I don't make enough money, that's the problem. If I just made more money then I wouldn't be in this situation."

Whoa! Getting out of debt isn't about making more money, it's about spending less than you make. You can't always control how much money you make, but you do have control over how much you spend.


How many times have you run into the house and said, "Look, I saved money! I got this for 50% off." You would have saved 100% if you had never gone to the store in the first place!

4. Understand the cross
Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me.”

When you become a Christ follower you no longer live. And if you no longer live then that means you don’t care what kind of car you drive, where you live, the clothes you have or anything else.

Understanding life in Jesus has everything to do with our finances. It means our bank accounts don’t belong to us. They belong to the Lord. He gives resources to us so that we can so that we can fulfill His heart in our lives.

Does this mean we can’t take vacations? Of course not. Does this mean we can’t own a condo in Florida, have a pool in your backyard or drive a new car? Of course not. It does mean – have you checked with God?

You see, if you are giving 10% as a baseline and then being responsive to the things God brings to you on top of that, those others things – the new car, the bigger house, the big vacations – there is nothing wrong with them. Trying to do all of that INSTEAD of giving and responding to God means you have not yet been crucified with Christ.

How are you allowing money to rule your life? What steps can you take to make money a tool for living?

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