Monday, August 25, 2014

What I Do Understand

There's much I don't understand about our world, my world, and around my life. I don't understand the reactions of mobs and those that travel to #Ferguson, Illinois to be part of the looting and destruction. I don't understand the destruction of a shop, owned by a law-abiding citizen, because you're pissed off at something he had nothing to do with. I don't get it.

I don't understand global politics.
I don't understand accounting.
I don't understand anything about child abuse.
I don't understand #ISIS.
I don't understand global warming or cooling or climate change.
I don't understand how engines work.
I don't understand people who can come to conclusions on half information, partial stories and not for one moment think there is more to it than they know.
I don't understand women - that's a whole series of blogs in itself!

There's a lot that I don't understand but that doesn't mean I'm helpless or paralyzed. The world may very well be going to hell in a hand basket - last time I checked, that's is the ultimate end. What I don't want to be is a part of helping make it happen. While there is way more I don't understand than I do understand, I do understand that I can be a positive influence in my world. I don't have to succumb to whatever emotion, anger, and negativity drives people to be destructive.

There are some things that I know and that's what can drive my actions. When I was a child I wasn't responsible for all of my choices. Now I am. When I was a child, I didn't have the experience or wisdom to make the best choices, but I knew right from wrong - I still know it today. There are far more things I don't know, but in light of recent events I know a few things.

1. I know that I deserve what I tolerate. This is a painful lesson to learn, and re-learn and learn again! When I didn't hold new leaders to high leadership standards, I get what I deserve. When I refuse to be part of the process of electing new political leaders, and I'm convinced that the problem in Washington rests with everyone else's leaders, but not mine....I get what I deserve.

I deserve what I choose to tolerate. Therefore, I have to choose ahead of time the things for which I'll go to the mat, the mountains upon which I'll die. As a parent, if I allow belligerence and disobedience to go unpunished, then I'll get what I've chosen to tolerate (or avoid). 

2. I have to own my choices, choices that I'm free to make. No one makes me mad - I choose to be mad at others. No one causes me to leave an organization or stop supporting a cause, I am free to choose that option. It's my choice.

I don't get to throw off ownership of my actions, blaming what someone else did. Certainly, I need to protect my family and I choose to protect my property, but I don't get to harm others because someone else did something to someone else with which I didn't agree. My actions are my own and owning them is something I must do.

3. Disagreements are inevitable - destruction is optional. I captured this quote recently but not the author:" Disagree without making the other person bad and you will transport the connection to a higher level." Relationships surround us, they make life worth living. Relationships also come with conflict but I don't have to destroy the relationship because of it.

4. God should not be blamed for as much as He is. One of my pet peeves is the stupid things people say at tragedies and funerals. Usually it happens when human beings open their mouths! God gets blamed for untimely death with words like: "He had another plan." God gets blamed for watching over some but not others with words like: "He was watching over them" when speaking of those who survived a horrific accident while others died.

A wise friend said to me recently: "Do the things that are possible and don't worry about the rest right now."

These are some of the things I know and in a world that seems consumed in chaos, I can follow and do these things. It may not seem like much on the surface but these things build a strong foundation for living well. One of my mottos is: "Do the next right thing." That's what I know and understand.






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