I've been privileged in my relatively short lifetime to enjoy experiences I could not have dreamed up on my own. My travels have taken me to awesome places made better by the people I met both there and along the way.
With my hobby of volunteering with USA Swimming as an official, I've met some awesome people - officials, swimmers and coaches. One memory seared into my mind was the near jog while walking the stroke position in Indianapolis, watching as Michael Phelps set the then world record in the 100 fly.....the whole time thinking two things: 1) don't trip, don't trip and 2) Michael, don't do anything illegal! Please don't do anything illegal!
I'm still not sure exactly how I've gotten to work at so many great meets but I know I had to work hard to cooperate with the plans of those who saw in me what I didn't at the time. It all happened because I stepped forward on failure.
I clearly remember my first starting session (as a starter). Standing on deck at Bowling Green University where you can't hide from anyone, surrounded my parents and other spectators.
 |
| My friends: Joni Biesel & Julie Allen |
A heat of 9-10 boys was whistled up on the blocks. The referee extended his hand and I hit the start button without saying, "Take Your Mark!" It was chaos. Some boys fell in the pool. Some looked over at me with a face that said: “What was that?” Some dove in. Some looked in the stands for mom! And I'm sure a few moms glared at me for ruining their photo op!
The Referee whistled them back up and the start was spot on. Not an auspicious beginning. But I learned that there's no starter jail for failing. You don't get put away for a mistake. But I can put myself away if I quit trying.
I've made plenty more mistakes since then. One time I didn't listen to my mentor and shifted my "usual" position on deck, which led to some not so great starts. There are times to experiment and times to stick with what already works.
After each "failure" I could have stopped, not gotten back behind the mic. I'd failed, made a mistake. But it's not the mistake that matters. It's what happens with the next start. What does the mistake do to me? What does a mistake do to you?
One of my 50th birthday lessons was:
Every start has a lesson. Learn the lesson. Forget the start.
Trials and tribulations are transportation for where you are going.
Everyone fails. I can tell you a hundred ways not to do things. But I can also tell you 1 way to do each of them right. My list of failures and mistakes is far longer than my list of successes and triumphs. I've learned more from my failures, from my mistakes, than I ever did from my successes. I really wish that wasn't the way life worked but it is.
One of the ways that I decided to grow my own leadership skills was through training to be a certified executive coach. Coaching helps clients grow in their leadership capacity. Getting through weaknesses is the approach of this training.
Strengths will only get us so far in our impact on business. To level up we have to take care of some weaknesses. Here's what that training taught me:
The unexamined life is not worth living.
I meet with a group of 5 men, regularly interacting with them as individuals and several times a year as a group. We keep each other from sloppy living. Without them I might think I'm better than I am.
As I began to officiate Senior Nationals, Junior Nationals and Grand Prix meets I was impressed with how much the top athletes examined every swim – every turn – every start – every lap. In a corner of every one of those decks you will find USA Swimming staff filming and helping critique events for the National and Junior National team members. They swim, warm down and then watch film.
I stood over the lanes of the elite of the elite at the 2012 Swimming Olympic Trials in Omaha. One morning at Prelims I was stationed in lane 4 at the start end. The first 5 heats in each event were filled with good swimmers – obviously some of the top in the nation. But then came the last 3 heats. There in succession: Clary, Phelps & Lochte; Soni & Hardy;
Grevers & Thoman. I was amazed, noticing a huge difference in technique compared to the first 5 heats. The precision, the smoothness, the continuity was an impressive contrast to the others. The elite respond when their swimming is examined.God didn't design us to figure out life alone. We're not that smart. We too easily fool ourselves into thinking we're better than we really are. Learn. Watch. Adjust. Ask for advice.
Most couples who end up coming to me to save their marriage waited too long to ask for help. How are you at taking constructive criticism? How are you at asking for help?
It's not a sign of weakness but of self-awareness – of truth and reality. Do you have people in your life who point out sloppiness in your life? I know if I'd listened more and applied more of what my coaches told me I would have been faster in the water.
A couple of months ago I was preparing to compete for the first time in about 10 years. The University of Cincinnati alumni meet was the next day. So at the end of my practice with the coaches from Countryside Y in Lebanon and another coach who swims with us, I decided I should dive off a block – a block I hadn't been on in 10 years. So I swam a 50 and at the end asked the the others - “Ok, what do I need to do differently tomorrow?”
Brad and Kevin, two elite coaches in our area, both said: “Turnover. Turnover has to be faster.”
I replied: “Have you seen my kids swim? It's genetic.”
By the way, I won my age group but not my heat. In my heat was 2010 NCAA D1 50 free champ, Josh Schneider. He was finishing his 100 while I was in the third turn! (I'm the guy on the right just in case you have trouble!)Examine your life. Listen to critics and supporters alike. Learn whatever you can from your mistakes and failures and move on to the next thing. The only failure that is an end is the one after which you don't get back up and try again. Fail forward.
I have a compass on my desk. My family believes it is there because I need one to follow directions. We did usually took the circuitous route on most vacations! But I digress.
Leaning against the compass is a calligraphied card:
The compass matters more than the calendar.
It's the direction you're going that matters more
then the speed with which you are getting there.
It's not how quickly you get to the goal, it's making sure you're headed toward the right goal. Delays are going to occur. Detours are bound to happen. Examine the life of Joseph from the Bible and you see detour and delay but a life consistently pointed in the same direction with integrity and a desire for excellence which God honored.
A few years ago, Ryan Lochte came to talk to the officials at Senior Nationals @ Ohio State. He told us of a serious injury to his knee while either break-dancing or skate boarding. It kept him out of the water for a number of months. It was during that time, he said, that he stopped drinking pop, got rid of junk food and candy and began doing whatever he could without being in the water, the thing that would benefit his performance.
If we believe our talents are inborn and fixed, then we'll avoid failure at all costs because failure is proof of our limitation. If our mindset is to grow, then we'll step on failure and get a leg up.
The Disciple of Jesus named Peter is my favorite because he was bold, made bold mistakes and failed miserably but still he was counted in Jesus' inner circle.
There was a time when the disciples were in a boat and Jesus came walking on the water. Peter asked, boldly and probably a bit arrogantly, to come walking on the water too. With his eyes on Jesus, Peter stepped out of the boat and walked toward the Lord. But then, the Scripture says, Peter looked at the wind and waves around him and began to sink. Peter cried out to Jesus and Jesus saved him, reaching down and pulling him to safety.
Failure? Perhaps.
Because Peter puts himself in a position to fail, he also puts himself in a position to grow. Failure is indispensable. Failure does not shape you; the way you respond to failure shapes you. After all, if you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat. Set high goals. Strive for what is just out of reach. Dream the impossible. Then do something every day to achieve it. Check your compass more than your calendar.
Great food for thought. I've always enjoyed your writing/sermons. Thanks for sharing today.
ReplyDelete